thank you for flossing

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relationship status: slept with laundry I was too lazy to fold

(via writeroost)


To think that 5894 days ago I was just sperm, I think I’ve come a long way

(Source: fvming, via crystallized-teardrops)

me:im adorable like im literally the cutest person in every room i walk into
me 4 seconds later:behold the trash lord